The official stuff

We knew from the start we didn't want to have a religious ceremony so that made our decisions a lot easier. My dreams of an outdoor wedding were dashed (as if an outdoor wedding would have been practical in the UK anyway!) when I found out that weddings can only be conducted in an approved venue in England and Wales (in Scotland, however, you can get married wherever you want!). Beware if you are thinking of a civil ceremony as a compromise between one religious partner and one atheist because you are not allowed anything that could be considered a religious reference anywhere in a civil ceremony.

Once we had chosen a venue we made a provisional booking there and immediately contacted the local registry office to check their availability on that date. Once we had made our booking with the registrar and chosen a time for the ceremony we then confirmed our booking with the venue.

The registrar sent out a provisional booking form to us and then we had to book an appointment to "give notice of intention to marry" at the registry office nearest to where we lived (had we lived separately we would have had to give notice in two different places). Both bride and groom have to have been in the country for a certain time period before they can give notice, even if they are British. Giving notice was simple enough, we had to give the registrar personal information about one another (apparently sometimes they make you do it separately to double check its not a fake marriage) which was inputted into a computer and then printed for us to sign. This document was then placed on display in the registry office for a time to allow anyone to come and object if they wanted to.

We then had to collect the documents from our local registry office and make sure they got to the office nearest our venue. I had some questions I wanted to ask and some passport forms to fill out so I booked an appointment with the registry office and delivered the documents myself. The registry office sent us two booklets with different ceremony options in which we had to choose from and then let them know so I delivered these at the same time and paid the final fee as well.

The deputy superintendant registrar I spoke to when I went to the office was almost too helpful! She described the ceremony procedure in great detail to me and even offered me the chance to practise walking up the aisle to get the speed right. She also explained to me that they require a brief (five minutes even though the information says half an hour) meeting with both bride and groom just before the wedding ceremony takes place to confirm all the details but that this can easily be done separately.

I decided to apply for my passport in my new name before the wedding so as to speed up my visa application process after the wedding. I made sure to get the registrar to fill out her part of the form when I had my appointment in January so I'd have everything I needed when I got back in April. Since I only came back from San Francisco four weeks before the wedding I couldn't post my passport application and still guarantee to get it back before the wedding so I booked an appointment so I could get it back within a week. Its a good job I did as nowhere on the guidance did it mention the need to fill out the form using your new name and signature! I had to fill out a new form when I was there but it wasn't a problem and I have my new passport back already.